How to encourage your human to get up at dawn....

How I got out of Agriculture and into Tech...

You may recall that I was originally in the field of Agriculture. No really - in the FIELD of Agriculture. I have to admit I was a bit of a natural at it, herding things, and stalking other things. Sleeping, then stalking things again. Maybe lying in the sun, pretending to be stalking things - a girl's gotta have a little fun sometimes, no ? Field work was really good for me, as I like watching the weather change, and long walks, and stalking wildlife. I mean, who doesn't love nature ? I believe it was Apone who said "Another glorious day on the Farm! A day on the Farm is like a day in the Marine Corps. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the FARM!

Unfortunately, my ability to discern the difference between wildlife and the rest of my working group... well there were some challenges. In that I mean some of my peers were clearly delicious, but the owners of the establishment didn't quite agree on the tasting schedule. Honestly, there were some disputes, and after some discussions with Human Resources, I took an opportunity to grow in another direction.

I must say - Such a good move! I mean, who better to augment my own ability to search out ( and frankly, distinguish ) edibles than the worlds greatest search engine? The benefits are good, and my peers understand that "I'm with management" - And HR discussions seem to mostly consist of pets and biscuits.

Did I mention that every day here is a party ?

The Yellow Brick Road, or How I came to live with the Wizards...

My Georgia Estate. After I was... let's say I was quote unquote " relieved of my duties " on the farm after a curious incident involving some chickens and my mouth, I was invited to move to the suburbs to live with an interesting eligible bachelor.

Despite my inability to speak the Queens English, I focused my other talents on finding my human a suitable mate. After all, as I embraced the suburban existence, it was becoming increasingly clear that a career oriented bachelor was simply not going to be able to supply all the focused feeling, petting and play time that a pure bred like I require. My mentor and handmaiden had spoken truth when she said he was distracted. So when we encountered a young scholar and artist, I put my canine wiles to work.

Mission Accomplished! Pet me.

The moment when I discovered Cheetos are BAD.